Victoria of Houston


  Houston Based Gothic FBSM Provider


This can be a tricky one in regards to how to handle. I've had a couple recent experiences that made me realize a post about this could be beneficial.

The thing is, every lady likes to handle this differently. Many will make point of asking for an envelope to be placed down within a few moments of arrival. Some like to handle business afterwards. So, I can understand how it may be difficult for a gent to know how to handle this with each lady he sees.


The first thing you can do is to check out her website/profiles. A lot of ladies stipulate how to handle the paperwork there, so that should give some guidance on her preference. However, many do not, for good reason. One should never make mention of monetary recompense in exchange for anything , due to certain entanglements of the legal persuasion. So, some general guidance in how to handle this sensitive situation with a lady you are visiting the first time:

  • Make sure you double check the rate before your arrival. That way you can have the amount ready to go and you will not need to confirm this in person. Mention of anything monetary in person can be a huge red flag to a provider.
  • Setting down beforehand is preferable. You do not need to make mention of this, but rather set it down in an area that is visually obvious in a discreet manner. I have a little box at my in-call on a table. Other ladies may have something similar or an end table that should suffice.
  • However, if the lady does stipulate a particular preference in how to handle this, follow that guidance.

Confirming rates beforehand is also perfectly acceptable, during your first communications with a lady. Just keep in mind that once together in person, it should never be discussed.  Once that first, slightly awkward bridge is crossed, seeing a lady for the first time, then everyone can relax and things can be handled more casually from there on out. :-)

Screening; Its Importance & Tips

Screening. What a downer. You're excited and ready to play; you've done your research and decided on your lady; you contact her; she then asks you for screening info and you realize it will take some time to fully secure the session.

It can be annoying for us as well. We have to sift through numerous messages, emails, texts and phone calls; ask gents for the same set of info over and over again, do OUR research into you, contact your references (even research them a little to make sure they are legit), keep notes, then after all of that, still wait to hear back from references.

This entire process can take up to anywhere from a few hours to a few days, as well as involve multiple messages back and forth between both parties; keep in mind as well, that as the provider this amounts to hours of "work" that we do not get compensated for, as we do not work traditional, salaried jobs. The other side is when references don't get back to you.  Talk about a huge inconvenience in disrupting business.

However, unfortunately, I think we can all agree that albeit its annoyance, screening is a necessary evil. Screening is important, not just for the provider, but for the hobbyist as well. You should be able to do any of your own "screening" on a lady if she is legit and well-established. She will be a member of the popular board; there you can research her posts and get a feel for her attitude and personality; she will have reviews which will give even more insight to her and her service; she will be a member of P411 and/or Datecheck. Both sites make the provider go through a verification process including ID and face photos and reviews or references from other established providers. Google search her name and phone number, you can also do reverse image searches. This will show you if the same set of details is being advertised in various places as being the same lady. If a lady has all of this, it is safe to say she is legit and above board and so should set you at ease when having to provide screening info of your own.

It seems nowadays, most people know this, and so are ready with the proper screening info from the get go. However, I am finding that many are not, or waste time that could have been better spent elsewise by beating around the bush.

Most ladies will ask for the following info for screening: phone number, first name, email, handle(s), and a minimum of 2 references. These requirements can vary from lady to lady, but it is a safe bet that when messaging for an appointment, she will ask for something similar so having it ready to go or even sending it to her in the very first message, can help speed things up and set her at ease. I know for myself, I am definitely more at ease if a gent is forthcoming with screening info versus making me jump  through hoops. When providing references it is extremely helpful to include links to them (profiles, websites, emails, etc). Most communication is done via electronic means so this can also help to speed things up.

(In regards to your name, phone and email; hunny, make them up, as we do. I don't care if your real first name isn't "John", if that is your hobby name and what you go by amongst providers you see, then that is all that matters. Emails and handles can be allocated specifically for hobbying as well as phone numbers. Get this set of tools for yourself if you plan on hobbying on the regular.)

If a gent only has one reference, a lot of ladies (myself included) will accept work info. This can be a phone number she can call that rings through to your work line where you will answer, or a website with a picture on it. A lot of people are hesitant or unwilling to provide this real world info, and for good reason. However, as previously touched upon, if you do your research into the lady beforehand, you will see if she is legit/well-established and has a good rep in the local community. This should put you at ease when providing sensitive info.

The last point to touch on is P411. You do have to pay for a membership as a hobbyist and supply real world info to them; however it can be a great way to get screened quickly and secure appointments. I know if a gent contacts me through there, I am already more at ease and will more quickly agree to see him.

Just remember, screening and verification is important for us all to stay safe, play safe and remain safe. It can definitely be a drag, but once sorted, can open the door to many, many furture sessions of fun and frolicking. :-)