The hobby life is filled with all kinds of situations; and it can be difficult to navigate or know how to respond to, or handle, most of them, because it's not like these are the "normal" types of situations your formative years prepare you for.
Go to school, get a job, form relationships, stay healthy, etc etc etc. Most of us know and understand how to operate within the societies we are a part of, or at the least, what types of behaviors are acceptable and what is expected of us. We can navigate situations easier and when we have problems we are unsure of how to handle, we can rely on friends and family for advice and support.
Not so, in the hobby. Most of us must hide this part of our life, so when we are faced with unprecedented situations, we must figure out how best to navigate them on our own.
One of the biggest situations one comes across, are large numbers of men who behave downright criminal. Spewing hatred and vitriol every chance they get, even becoming threatening. Two of my personal favorite insults I have heard (many times over the years) are men calling us "whores" or "money hungry".
These both tend to make me laugh roundly. Why, you ask? To call me (or any provider) a whore, is just too funny. Do they really think that shaming us is going to work? Really? We are obviously ok with what we do, or we wouldn't do it in the first place. It's like saying to a man, "Well, you're just a big, fat, MAN." It's like, "Yes I am, actually; thank you for stating the obvious."
I often joke, even with rw friends, that I am a total "perv", "whore", "slut" and that there is nothing wrong it. I love sex; sex is natural; ergo I am a lover and practitioner of all that is healthy and natural in life. So, calling a working lady a "whore" is just soooo ludicrous to me. Please. Come up with a more creative and original insult and then maybe I can actually pretend to be slightly offended at some point.
The second one that gets me laughing is when they call us "money hungry". Firstly, every provider out there is 100% honest and upfront that in order to spend time with her, compensation must be given. There is absolutely no subterfuge about this matter. Secondly, we are being compensated for our time; anything else that may or may not happen during that time is due to the express mutual desire and agreement between two consenting adults of sound mind; nobody is being forced or tricked into giving up anything they don't want to. Thirdly, isn't every single grown adult in the western world out there trying to make as much money as humanely possible during the short time they have on this earth? The chase of wealth, luxury and a supreme lifestyle is pretty much the "American Dream" and one we all spend our time pursuing. So again, the "insult" is invalid and merely stating a fact. We are all "money hungry".
I have several theories on why so many man are so full of darkness in this hobby.
The first, is that even though they partake of it themselves, they still feel guilty about it. This could be because they are in sexless marriages/relationships and are stepping outside to get something they so desperately need, but still feel bad about it; or because they are still ingrained with antiquated social/religious beliefs about sex in general. However, they have needs, which by the way are perfectly normal and natural, and so they engage, but the cycle of shame and guilt is ever present; but rather than focus inwards on themselves and working out their own issues, they choose to project and spew it out onto us, the providers, and often times other hobbyists as well. It's a classic case of projection, which is actually one of the defense mechanisms Freud classified. (Check out Freudian Defense Mechanisms here.) (Btw, I am not an expert but actually did take a few psych classes in uni. I once had dreams of becoming a criminal psychologist; there's a little tidbit of background info about yours truly. ;-) )
Another theory is that they are just straight up narcissists or psychopaths. These are some of the most dangerous types of people out there. Most of them know how to keep the veil up and fool most people around them, and on the outside, lead totally "normal" looking lives. But in something like the hobby, they are able to let the mask slip and come out in full form, because they feel the consequences of such actions hold little to no risk for them. It's not like they are letting their rw "friends" or colleagues see this truly evil side of them. Both narcissism and psychopathy are genuine personality disorders defined in the DSM (You can read more about narcissists/psychopaths here. Again, I have rw experience with this, because, lucky me! I dated one.)
The last theory, as previously touched upon, is that we are all just in this pretty weird little "community" where the standard mores of behavior can become fuzzy. I think it is pretty easy for the male ego to go a little bonkers at time, in such an atmosphere, especially when, again as previously touched upon, the repercussions for "bad behavior" are perceived as being minimal to none. Their rw people don't see this side of them, so they will never get truly "in trouble" for spouting off some hateful bullshit on a screen to a person they will never even meet in real life under an assumed name.
I remember when I was providing in London, it quickly became apparent to me that any American men I would see, who were just travelling through (for business usually) were the worst sorts of clients. Just pulling all kinds of shenanigans like trying to pressure me into fucking them, grabbing me in ways that were hurtful or disrespectful, etc etc. Yet, meanwhile, all the American gents I would see in the states, were fine (most of the time, that is, lols.) I finally realized it was because they were all on "holiday". In a foreign country, far away from any of their rw stuff. So, it was like "the rules" didn't apply to them and they thought they could get away with any kind of behavior, because what was some random provider bitch in London going to do about it?
My advice to any lady or gent coming up against any of these sorts of people is to do what I do; laugh it off or just plain ignore it. They don't know you. They're not paying you or paying your bills. They probably lead sad and frustrating lives, or are straight up whacked in the head. It's easy to take the bait when someone comes after you personally, but ignoring people like that is actually the best revenge of all. They are often looking for a reaction, and so displaying one just feeds into their twisted, little minds. Remember, a reaction is the proof that someone was able to manipulate your emotions.