Victoria of Houston




  VICTORIA

  Houston Based Gothic FBSM Provider


More Tips for Potential Hobbyists

I am getting irritated, so am using blogging as an outlet, lol. 

 

I already wrote a blog a long while ago, about understanding things from our perspectives. I think this needs an addendum. 

I get so many messages on a daily basis (all providers do). That's great, but the truth is that for all those messages, it usually works out to about 10-15% that actually result in sessions (and therefore, business.) Most of the time, the main reason I ignore a message, is bad delivery. Messages like, "Hey", "Hi" or "How are you?" Nothing else, no introuduction, just some random "Hello", from a random number. Even worse are those that include pet names (baby, sweetie, sexy, etc.)

Because I get so many messages, I have to be discerning and try to decide which of them merits my time and energy to respond to. Remember, I don't get compensated for all the "admin" work involved with providing. It is why a lot of ladies hire assistants. It's a lot of work and takes up a fair amount of my time.

Let's add to that the time it takes me to update my site, post ads, get involved in forum discussions (also another way to "advertise"), clean and maintain my in-call (including laundry), and also handle my finances properly, and you are starting to understand how much time I "work" that I don't get compensated for. 

 

So yes, I get testy when I receive annoying or time wasting messages. Here are my addendums to "Understanding Things from the Provider's Side & a Few Tips":

1. Read her ad/showcase/website for all relevant info before first contact. This includes things like her in-call/out-call area(s), hours of availability, rates & session offerings, preferred methods of contact, etc. When contacting for the first time, work within these parameters. Do not ask her for things she does not offer (I was recently asked if I would please consider doing an out-call even though I say I won't...guess what? NO. Leave me alone and stop wasting my time by asking); do not contact her at a crazy hour (I get calls/texts at all hours of the night); do not ask for any service that she has not indicated she offers.

2.Most reputable providers have reviews that offer greater insight into them/their sessions. Do some research, it will go a long way. You will be able to tell if she is the type of lady you would enjoy spending some time with and if her session is the type of experience you are after. 

3. References/screening. This is a huge one. Most reputable providers require screening info, including references. I state this on my site/ads/showcase. Most ladies do as well. Yet, I get numerous upon numerous messages, "I don't have any screening info, willl you still see me? I promise I'm not a cop." First of all, LE is not my only concern, there are other reasons for references. Secondly, I have stated I will not book without references VERY CLEARLY, so no. Thirdly, by saying, "I'm not LE", you've just made me even more nervous than you would have before. Go away, leave me alone and don't contact me again.

4. Make your first contact message pleasant. I absolutely abhor "pet" names; like being called babe, baby, hunny, etc. I am not your gf and I am not a back alley hooker. Show me some respect. Construct a pleasant and simple introductory message, something like, "Hi Victoria, my name is such and such. I'd love to see you sometime soon. Here is my screening info." Already, I am 99.99% more likely to respond to a messaage such as that, than something like, "Hey babe." See the difference? You wouldn't think people would need to be taught things like this, but apparently they do. 

5. Compensation should never be discussed other than at the time of booking. It is the ONLY time I will discuss such with a first time client. For example, "I have you booked for an Oasis session; just to confirm the rate is $120." And that's it. If you bring this up in person, chances are you will make me so nervous, I will ask you to leave. If you have to ask why, then you need to go educate yourself. I prefer to have it set down after the session, as he is on his way out. Not only is conversing of such pretty declassé, but it is also risky as hell. You should know what her rate is well before you arrive and have it ready to go. Some ladies prefer it at the beginning of the session, most will stipulate this somewhere in their advertising/site (again, why you need to READ all info beforehand.) I would suggest to always ascertain this info before the session, and operate accordingly to her preference. 

6. In general, be a nice person. That shouldn't be too difficult. Just act like a normal, considerate and balanced human being, and chances are, your session will go swimmingly. Believe it or not, we women tend to respond better when treated like another fellow, normal human being. 

 

 

The Dichotomy of Being a Provider and a Woman

This is a "real" post; the kind of musings and thoughts that will go into my book, along with all the fun, kinky and wild things that happen in my life. 

I'm somewhat recently 30 years old (I hit the big 3-0 at the end of 2015.) As I mature into my womanhood, I've begun to notice something that wasn't quite so apparent to me, in my younger years. 

Misogyny, in all its lovely glory, exists in our society, as strongly and prevalently, as it ever did. 

Yes, we women have a lot more power than we did in times past. We are doctors, lawyers, politicians. We are financially independent and completely capable of running our own lives without the aid of a man. We can even raise families on our own (though, I may not entirely agree with this, though, that's a discussion for another day.)

I'd really like to go in depth about the history of women's positions throughout the ages, but that is much too long a discussion for this post. 

Suffice it to say, that in recent history (the past 200 years or so), we've basically had to fight, tooth and nail, to get to where we are, at this moment in time, which is very sad. 

Yet still, it persists. Um, hello? We still make .70 to the dollar of most men (in traditional work roles.)

I was recently discussing this with a male in my life. I "joked" that "I haven't met a man yet who can handle me, that's why I am single." What I meant by that, is pretty much what it sounds like. I am strong, independent. I handle my life and take care of myself. I don't "need" a man, I want one. A lot of modern men claim to be on board with such a woman, but the truth, (or so I've found in my own experience), tends to not quite match up with that. 

Unfortunately, modern men (or at least most of them), while respecting us, are still ingrained with the antiquated gender roles of times past. They want to "take care" of their woman, and when their woman doesn't "need" them, it causes them to feel emasculated, even if he is completely talented, capable and caring in his own right. 

This feeling of inadequacy, or rather, perceived inadequacy, manifests itself in oh, so many lovely ways. Note the sarcasm. 

One thing, I really hate, that just gets my blood boiling, in real life, is when men "innocently" flirt with me. Here are some examples; I've worked in offices with male supervisors who thought it perfectly acceptable to wink at me in the work place; I often get called "sweetie" or "hunny" by non-familiar men in real world situations; The boob stare; I took my car to get washed the other day and the male attendant wouldn't stop trying to chat me up in a "joking" manner (just wash my fucking car already!); men are nice to you and give you things for no apparent reason....the list goes on. 

The reason I hate these things so much, is because this type of attention shows that I am only being sexually objectified by men, no matter how "respectable" and capable I present myself as. I am sure most women experience the same. Nobody wants to be sexually objectified, it doesn't feel good. I just want to be left alone and treated in the same manner as anyone (any man) else out there. 

 

However, here comes the crux. I am a provider. Not only am I sexually objectified on a regular basis at "work", I bank on this, and I do enjoy it while in "work mode". It is such a tricky, strange and just downright convoluted conundrum, that even I cannot begin to fully understand or explain it. 

I genuinely love and enjoy my job; if I didn't, I wouldn't do it. 

Yet, still, I want to be taken seriously as a person, as a woman, respected and treated with the same respect as any man and get angry in real world situations when I am not. Yet I willingly and happily place myself into a position to be desired as a "sex object" only. Hmmmm.....I think Freud would have had a field day, with someone like me, lol. 

 

Anywhos, I don't have an answer. Most (if not nearly all) gents I see at work, I feel understand this, or at least have the presence of mind to treat me with the utmost of mutual respect, so I really can't complain. 

As I said, it's a dichotomy and a conundrum. Just one more, beautiful, convoluted and just downright crazy layer to the hobby life. :-)

 

 

 

Adventures in Provider Land Nos. 4 & 5 - A Trip Down Memory Lane & My Fantasy Turned Reality

Number 4: A Trip Down Memory Lane


 

There's an old, regular client of mine. Someone I saw a healthy handful of times in the "old days"; back when I first started in '08 - '10. To say he is not the "usual" type of gent I see, is in fact, true, in all the right ways. Someone who has turned me on for years, but I was always way too much of a good girl to do anything truly naughty. We've been trying to hook up for weeks, but schedules and whatnot hadn't been matching up. 

Our moment finally came last night. He needed a late session, which I normally won't do, but I do make special allowances for special clients. ;-)

To say the session was intense.....well, I won't give any more details than that, because I'm a lady, and I don't kiss and tell. 

But rest assured, much fun was had by all parties concerned. A lovely and unexpected provider moment, of which I hope to have many more. 

 

 

Number 5: I Spaketh Him Into Existence

Holy shit, like, for real. 

I was recently relating this story to a trusted confidant of mine. Only a very small handful of people in my real life know what I do for a living; the fact that I even have 1 or 2 people I can talk to about it, makes me very grateful indeed.

So, as you could imagine, I tend to get a lot of messages from potential clients, on a regular basis. One thing I always tend to hear, is something like, "I'm a nice, clean cut guy...." I am sure they think they are belaying any fears or hesitations I might have in regards to who I see. Well, firstly, I really couldn't give one, bloody fuck what my clients look like. As long as someone is respectful, decent, a gentlemen and treats me nicely, I am a happy camper. The second fact that is funny to me (and maybe I shouldn't be revealing this, lol), is that I don't want a "nice, clean cut guy" for myself (real life attraction.) I mean, look at me guys. Goth chick, shaved head, tats and piercings. I tend to go for men who share a similar aesthetic in real life (though, that's not to say I haven't been attracted to MANY who do not, mind you....)

So, I was just telling this to my friend the other day and I said something like, "I don't want a 'nice, clean cut guy'; I want a sexy ass, tatted up motherfucker, wouldn't that be a miracle!" 

Well, lo and behold, he walked through my door this morning. I think I was so shocked for a moment, I couldn't respond properly, haha. I was also in disbelief that it was actually happening at work, lols. 

Of course, as said, there have been other aesthetics and other clients I have been attracted to, over the years. But to have someone like him, someone I would totally be "into" in real life, come visit me at work, is something special indeed. I feel like I won the lottery of sessions again. That's twice in one week! Ha. 

Maybe I should actually say I am going to win the lottery now, and it will acutally happen, heh. 

I also won't go into details about our session. If you couldn't already tell, I tend not to. However, suffice it to say it was an extremely awesome and exciting session all around. He also mentioned that he might be able to convince his SO to come along for a couple's session at some point....holy shit, I can't even imagine what that will be like. Talk about hitting the jackpot of sessions (yet again.)

What a week I've had; how much luckier can a girl get? :-)