Victoria of Houston




  VICTORIA

  Houston Based Gothic FBSM Provider


Adventures in Provider Land #7 - The Time I Paid a Male Prostitute

A few months ago, I decided that I would like to visit a male provider. I don’t “need” to pay for it; I wanted to have the experience and see what it is like from the other side. Also, I think this probably goes without saying, but I am a kinky one indeed. Furthermore, how could I not go for such an experience, simply to be able to tell such a tale and use it like a badge of honor?

I was also curious what it might be like to have a man take me whom I was paying to do so. And lastly, I will admit that it is just simply an extremely empowering thing to do. To be able to say, “I did what men do.”

So, I put out a request on el boardarino, wondering if anyone could point me in the right direction of where I could find such a man. From my own extensive knowledge and personal experience of such things, as well as some preliminary research, it seems that all male escorts advertise as gay.

Lo and behold, my query did not prove fruitless. I was contacted by a man, who suggested a particular provider to me. He does advertise as gay, but gent X let me know that he had visited provider Y with a lady friend of his, so he was likely open to seeing women.

I clicked the link I was sent with some anticipation. I browsed the page that opened before me; partly excited, partly afraid (and for good reason; Jesus H Christ, the size of this man’s penis! FYI: I am NOT a size queen.) I decided to go for it, and see what could happen. I sent him a message. I contacted him through my provider email and gave him full disclosure that I am a provider and that I was curious as I had never done anything like this before, and so wanted to have the experience.

A couple days later, he responded. He let me know that he is not local and that he would be in town at some point and so would let me know when that was going to happen.

I thanked him and our correspondence ended there.

A few months went by, and through the normal machinations of life, the idea got put on the back burner for me.

A couple of weeks ago, I was horribly ill with strep throat. So, of course this is the week my male provider would contact me. He let me know he was going to be in town the following week and asked if I would still like to meet. I agreed and we set a day and time.

After that had been arranged, I sat back and analyzed my emotions. I was surprised that I was not more nervous. I thought I would be. I was simply mostly just curious and also excited.

The day arrived. I began to dress for the session. I chuckled to myself as I went through the same routine I would for any one of MY sessions. I realized then that it was going to be challenging to me to not be in “work mode” during this experience.

I prepared his donation in much the same manner as my clients likely do for me. I considered what I should bring into the session with me. I needed to bring my full purse and wallet with me, because I had errands to run after the session. So I considered if I should leave them in the car, which I did not feel comfortable with, or if I should just bring everything in with me, which also gave me some pause (for obvious reasons.) In the end, I decided to bring everything in with me.

 

Thankfully, his hotel wasn’t too far from my place, so I didn’t have to drive far or to somewhere I was unfamiliar with.

I arrived early (on time, imo) and made my way to the room. I knocked and after a few mere moments, he answered. I was pleasantly impressed as he looked better than his photos.

I entered the room and was instantly disappointed. It was not as I would have wished it to be. This guy is obviously not the cleanest or tidiest person. As said, it was challenging not to be in work mode.

I was seeing everything through my provider eyes and thinking of how I operate and do things; the way I have my in-call arranged; the way it is always clean and smells nice; the ambiance I set for clients. I think anyone in the hobby can agree that you since you are compensating someone for an experience; you should receive that experience, in full. Even if I wasn’t a provider, I would have wanted a nice room for my session.

I set my things down and pulled out his envelope and said something simple, like, “This is for you.” He gestured to a table. I laughed to myself as I set it down. He, at least, understands the decorum of such things.

He was a very taciturn Paid man, not overly talkative. We exchanged a few obligatory pleasantries. I said something like, “I am a little bit nervous,” to which he responded, “Me too.” Hmmm, ok. I still haven’t decided if this was genuine on his part or he was just being a good provider and pandering to me.

Then he went in immediately. He began by kissing me as we stood; not bad, I thought. We moved to the bed, both of us fully dressed.

The foreplay that ensued was not bad by any means, at face value. He is a very passionate person, he knew what he was doing, knew how to touch me, kiss me, gesture and move.

This proceeded for about 10 -15 minutes. Things began to heat up and clothing was removed. We moved into the full on action. I won’t go into full details, but let’s just say it wasn’t awful.

However, I did feel that the whole thing was very mechanical, for me anyways.

I did “get there” (three times in fact), but even still. This experience has made me wonder how men can enjoy themselves so much meeting someone for the first time and not having any prior chemistry or intrigue built up between themselves and the person in question.

I consider myself to not be like most women. I don’t necessarily need a lot of romance or traditional dating etiquette to have sex with someone and to enjoy it. However, I guess I do still need some sort of attraction or build up on some level. Meeting someone for the first time, walking into a room and immediately moving into action was a bit mechanical for me. Everything was done well, on a physical level, but I just wasn’t “into it”.

We finished up, I cleaned him up (again, in work mode) and then we lay for some minutes. He became more talkative at that point (thank god) and we began to trade provider stories.

That part was fun. It was interesting to hear things from a male provider’s perspective.

After a bit of that, I decided I was done and had gotten what I had went there for, so I excused myself to the bathroom to clean up a bit. I decided not to shower there.

I dressed, we exchanged a few more pleasantries, we said our goodbyes and I left.

Total time spent was about 50 minutes….and I even tipped him as well, lols. (Remember gents, the gods smile on those who tip. ;-) )

All in all, it was most definitely not the best sexual experience I have ever had (far from it). However, I am most assuredly glad that I did this, do not regret it at all, and consider it money well spent.

Post-Sick Update & Things to Come

Ugh. I just spent all of last week, sick as a dog; with strep throat. It was not fun and I had to cancel all sessions for that week *sad face*

 

Thankfully, I am more or less back at it this week. My energy is still suffering a bit, but I am getting back into my exercise regime, so I suspect it will sort itself out in no time. 

 

Something else I had to put on hold, are my new pics. My shoot was scheduled for last Wednesday, but that obviously did not happen. It is now scheduled for the first week of September. I know this sucks, but it's only a little while longer guys, I promise. I too, am getting irritated looking at my same pics, lol. 

Something else upcoming on the Victoria front, is an adventure I have been waiting to have for quite some time now. I will finally visit my male escort on this upcoming Sunday. I believe I have mentioned this from time-to-time somewhere, and now it is finally going to happen. I thought I would be more nervous, but now that it is actually here, I am not. I think it will be a fun time, and if nothing else, will certainly prove to be an adventure as well as give me interesting material to write about. 

I am more excited than anything, I feel like I am waiting for Christmas. 

 

Lastly, I am finally actually starting to write for my book. I don't know why it seems so daunting, but it does. I decided if I can at least make myself write something each day, whether it is a lot or a little, that is progress at least. 

 

So, stay tuned kids for lots of new and fun things happening in Victoria land. New pics, new adventure, new book musings. :-) 

Hope everyone is doing well during this rainy, rainy week. 

Sex is a Beautifiul Thing

I must be in a mood this week; 2 posts back-to-back. 

I've just been very meditative lately, if you couldn't tell. Since I turned 30, 7 months ago, I feel such clarity. My mind is opened. It's not that I was closed minded, judgmental, or prudish during my 20s (rather the opposite), it's just a new level of clarity like I've never experienced before. 

Anyone of you past this age is probably chuckling to yourself at my cute and somewhat naive admissions. ;-)

Anywhos, I've just been thinking about sex a lot lately (when am I not thinking about sex?) I was, unfortunately, raised in an environment where I was taught that sex was dirty, shameful, wrong and inappropriate. This went so far as to extend to the idea that even my own body was something to be ashamed of. *SIGH*

I was, thankfully, able to break free from this atmosphere and form my own opinions, yet it still weighs heavily on me, the fact that there are so many children growing up in such an atmosphere. 

Sex is a beautiful thing. Yes, it's about satisfying something primal inside of us, but I never feel happier than when I've just had an intense orgasm which has been given to me by someone. I like the fact that we use the words "to give" someone an orgasm, because I do truly feel that it is a gift.  

Whether or not you're in love with the person, I don't think that has to mean its value is diminished. And when you are able to share such a moment of perfect, absolute pleasure with another person who is equally enjoying that moment, I find that to be one of the most beautiful and satisfying things in life. 

Perhaps a lot of people's issues are that they are seeking something outside of this moment to sustain them, rather than truly being present and relishing that moment for everything it is worth. 

Anywhos, just some of my sexy musings on this relaxing Thursday afternoon. 

Fulfillment in the Hobby

It's time for a more serious post; more musings. This will probably go in my book, or something like this. 

I read an article recently. Two psychologists interviewed 100 men who partake in the hobby. They asked them all sorts of questions, but the main one, of course, was why they do it. I was actually quite astonished by the responses. A whopping 48% stated that they are seeking emotional intimacy. 

 

48% is a lot; that is basically half. 

I guess I was astonished, because I honestly didn't think so many men would be lacking and/or seeking such, furthermore, from providers. That goes to show you that I am (ashamedly) perhaps more sexist than I would care to admit. 

I know men are emotional and need intimate connection just as much as women; we are all human beings, and human beings need connection. I guess I just didn't realize, or think, that so many men hobby for such a reason. I equated it mostly to a physical connection, rather than an emotional one. 

I have been thinking about this a lot, recently. I guess more so, since I came back to this world, just 4 months ago. Perhaps it's down to experience, or the maturity that comes with age, but I am most certainly in a very different place, emotionally and mentally, than I was 8 years ago, when I started providing at the green age of 22. 

Therefore, I feel very differently than I did back then, about what I do and why I do it. I have been finding this journey for myself to be an exciting one, at times taxing, but even still, far, far more enjoyable, on many levels, than I ever did before. 

The connections I make at "work", though transitory, are no less fulfilling for being such. I do feel fulfilled, in many ways, from this. Of course money plays a part, we all need to live. However, as I recently left a civvy job that provided me with a nice, cushy income, I think it safe to assume that I would never stay at or do a job, purely for the monetary benefits it provides me. 

Life is short; I don't want to spend, or waste, any of my time here, waking up every day and doing something that I hate, or don't genuinely enjoy doing. 

 

So, I realized the same can be said about the clients I meet. Just because our experiences and moments are, in fact, transient, and under a certain set of parameters, does that invalidate their worth? I’ve even begun to recently feel that perhaps they are even more worthwhile than the more “traditional” scenarios, perhaps because of their transient nature.

Up until recently, I’ve been mostly a member of the camp of wanting a “monogamous” relationship, should that time ever happen again in my life.

Recently, I’ve been feeling that my perspective and opinions on this are changing. Perhaps there is some merit to the idea of “polyamory”; getting different things from different people. I’ve noticed through my own experiences as of late, how this is becoming truer for me. I’ve often heard proponents of a polyamorous lifestyle, state that it is impossible to get everything you need from one person. Perhaps this is the root cause of the failing of many monogamous relationships.

This is something I will have to continue to meditate on, because as said, I do feel my opinions and perspective is beginning to change.

 

Either way, my main point is that I have begun to see how my experiences in the hobby can be totally fulfilling to me, on many levels, and satisfying enough to sate me and make me happy.

I would like to think that my clients feel the same, maybe not all of them, but hopefully at least some. :-)